The Second Diagnosis May 2022

I started this blog when I had Sueanne and it was just left like that for a long long time... i got caught up with life... the so call busy full time working mom life... focusing on DOING and PROVIDING the best for my girls... not realising years later that I have lost myself... On May 7th 2021 I had to face the fact that I am diagnosed with stage 3 right breast cancer when the breast surgeon sent me a Whatsapp text with the report. To make it worse the bone scan showed bone carcinoma and they had to reclassify my case to Stage 4. My world came crumbling down... fast forward I went through 6 rounds of chemo, lost my hair, removed my right breast, survived 25 rounds of radiotheraphy and was put on hormone theraphy and I thought I've survived cancer. Come May 27th 2022 when I am due for my PET CT scan, a lump on the left breast was detected and Oncologist sent me in for a biopsy. BOOM!!! Another cancer... and the scary term of Her2+ was uttered from the Onco's mouth. Anger fills me... what have I done wrong... why another one... all I can say to my Onco was "I don't want to go through chemo again"... tears came rolling down... fears consumed me... my world seems uncertain... and this round I procrastinated. Hoping for miracle... hoping for the cancer to somehow dissapear... I went to see another Onco for second opinion hoping that he can recommend alternative treatment. But he said the same thing as my Onco... I was so frustrated. Finally I took up the guts to start the journey and Friday, 15 July was the first treatment. 4 drugs : 2 targetted theraphy and 2 chemo, I was at the hospital from 7.15 am until 6:30pm ... I was drained. I thought I am fine... when the nurse approached me to administer the drug, tears rolled down and the nurse had to console me... I told myself - this round I am not as strong as I thought. So much fear within me... the thought of having to fight the battle again and to go thorugh the side effects was just so painful to face. God please have mercy on me and be kind to me... bless me strength and positivity in mind, body and soul.